A Mile in My Heels
by J. Lucy-Daisuke
Summary: He's out to settle a score, and he doesn't mind breaking a nail doing it. One shot, please read and review


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Lupin III, but God I'd love to write for it…

Surprised, no?

Firstly, yes, it's a one-shot from me…. Heh, a Lupin story that isn't hundreds of pages? Has J. Lucy-Daisuke finally lost it? No, I just had a really sick idea running in my head, and after no internet for a week you start to think a little weird… Anyway, I'm not going to give anything away here… Just read… Hopefully you'll like it… If not I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted to kill me. I'm a horrible, horrible person for thinking this and I deserve death for it…

Secondly, this is a slight crossover into another two friends' fics. PsychoKatrina and Lunasstar also write Lupin fics here, and I've had the pleasure of knowing both writers for about a year now… Maybe more… Anyhow, you'll recognize a character from their fics if you've ever read them. Keep in mind that this is just a bizarre little oddity… It doesn't really follow any of our set timelines… Don't worry if you're used to my fan series—That's still continuing, as well. This isn't goodbye to Yuki, Toshiro, Fuji and the gang…

Anyway, enjoy! Please review… ''

A MILE IN MY HEELS

"Okay, I give up… What's the Kevlar vest for, Lupin? You getting' ready for Halloween?" asked Jigen from his usual perch on the couch. It could be said the fedora-wearing bandit was almost a fixture to that particular piece of furnishing, no matter where they traveled.

"Eh, not exactly," Lupin answered distantly. It was clear his mind was far away from his current conversation as he leafed through a file on their newest heist. He looked upward at Jigen quickly once again and then back down at the file, never making eye contact with his long time friend and bodyguard.

_'Who's there to protect you when your bodyguard's going to want to kill you?' _Lupin thought to himself. He gave a small gulp in hopes to retain his at best wavering confidence as Goemon entered and seated himself cross-legged in a chair opposite of Jigen. Jigen paid no attention to this, but did however spring up and shoot Lupin an icy glare when he saw Fujiko enter, carrying much more luggage than usual.

"Hey, you didn't tell me it was a friggin' dog show… Looks like they'll let any bitch in now," Jigen said in Fujiko's direction. Mine gave him a small smile in place of the usual frown of disgust, however. That was the point when Jigen should've realized things were very wrong indeed.

"Okay, gang's all here, so I guess we'll go over the plan now," said Lupin as he leaned forward and rested his elbows upon his knees.

"I take it you've told him, Lupin?" asked Goemon as he pulled out the ever-present Zantetsuken and began to clean it with a special powder for Japanese swords.

"Eh, not yet…" replied Lupin sheepishly.

"Ah, so that's why you're still in the land of the living…"

"Goemon and I had this bet that he'd kill you," Fujiko replied. "Pay up, Goemon—Seven-hundred yen…"

Goemon sighed and reached into a small pouch he carried inside his kimono, and pulled out a few coins, tossing them in Fujiko's direction, "There goes my midnight Ramen run…"

"Told me what, Lupin?" asked Jigen, tilting his head to a side and squinting, "What're you hiding from me?"

"Well, heh, Jigen… How much do you love me? I mean, we've always been there for one another, right? So, um, yeah… We're like brothers… And, um, I mentioned I love in you in a totally hetero way, right? You're smart, occasionally funny, and you've almost always been there to support me when you haven't been working against me!"

"Spit it out, Lupin…" Jigen demanded.

"There's shooting competition going on next week… The prize is a one-of-a-kind rifle, owned by John Wilkes Booth…"

"Good thing Booth isn't alive, Jigen… He might've thought honest Abe had risen from the grave if he laid eyes upon you…" said Goemon from his corner.

"That's rich—An American history joke from someone who can't tell the English words 'men's room' from 'kitchen'," said Fujiko with a slight laugh.

"It was a long time ago…" an annoyed Goemon replied.

Jigen paid no attention to Fujiko and Goemon's banter, though. He was more excited about the competition, "Hot damn! Why in the hell were you holding out on me, man! That's friggin' great! When the hell do I pack? I've been feeling rusty, anyway!"

"There's a catch…" Lupin threw down the paperwork in front of Jigen's face. "….It's all women…."

"What?" Jigen shrieked, and held up a picture of several gorgeous women from all around the world taking aim at targets. He looked upward at Lupin above his fedora, tossed the picture aside, and laughed coolly as he sat back his hands behind his head, "I get it… You want me to teach Fujiko to shoot long-distance targets… That'll take a while, but I'm sure she'll at least come in eighth…"

"Um, no…" Lupin slowly rose and hid himself behind his chair as he continued to speak, "Fujiko's going to teach you…"

"Teach me? Teach me to what?"

"To act like a woman…" Lupin answered quietly.

There was a pause before Jigen jumped from the couch and lunged for Lupin, "Who in the hell do you think I am?" Jigen shouted as he grabbed Lupin in a headlock, "I ain't dressin' up in a friggin dress, and I sure as hell ain't workin' with Fujiko!"

"Too late," Lupin pulled Jigen off and twitched a smile. "I already sent the letter saying I was going to be there…"

"Then why in the hell do you need me!" asked Jigen as he rose from the ground and dusted himself off. He turned and looked out of the hotel window at the French scenery surrounding them.

"Because," Lupin also rose and walked over to Jigen. "I need a couple of people on the inside…"

"Why can't you get Goemon to do it? He's got the long hair and he already wears a friggin' dress!"

"Hey!" Goemon shouted in defense.

"Because Goemon can't shoot like you, Diana…" replied Lupin.

"Diana?" Jigen turned to Lupin with a once-again stunned expression.

"That's the name I signed you up with…" Lupin answered with a shrug, "It's a pretty name… Matches your eyes, almost…"

"Why not you, then? You're still friggin' married to a guy, technically!" Jigen said desperately.

"The divorce went through last month!" snapped Lupin in response, "Besides, I'll be busy grabbing that gun… I need some people to keep watch, though… Now, each competitor can bring a guest, so Goemon's going to be yours…"

"And what's Fujiko going to do, huh?"

"Laugh from the sidelines the first time they wax your legs," Fujiko replied with a wide smile.

"Bitch!" Jigen shouted.

"That's sensei to you…" replied Fujiko, rising facing Jigen with a smile upon her face. "Now let's start you off in some heels, hm?"

"I hope that you're all light sleepers, for your sake," said Jigen darkly as he followed Fujiko out into her room.

"For Jigen, must truly be a form of hell on earth," said Goemon with his usual sternness.

"Hm, I know… I haven't even told him yet that the one guest he's allowed to bring is a boyfriend…" said Lupin.

Goemon's usually serene eyes opened wide, and he looked up at Lupin and sputtered, "You… You didn't inform me of that, either, Lupin…"

"Well, I'm just full of surprises today…" said Lupin, sticking his hands in his pockets and smiling, "But trust me, Goemon, there'll be a lot more to this than the gun…"

"Such as?"

"Registration fees… It's one of the most expensive tournaments you can go to… Only for the highest of high… It's about ten thousand to get in! Multiply that by hundreds of women…"

Goemon smirked and nodded, "Hundreds of thousands for us…"

"You got it…" Lupin smiled, "But, you know, it'll be hardest on me…"

"Why's that?" asked Goemon.

Lupin gave a pained look, "Hundreds of gorgeous babes and they all know how to shoot!"

Fujiko's Room, Later that Evening:

There was another loud thud, and a curse from Jigen. He shakily rose up with help from a nearby chair and glare at Fujiko, who sat curled up in her chair reading a magazine, "Couldn't you have started me off on a smaller heel? These things are friggin' killing me! I mean, two inches? Come on!"

"Fine, fine… Besides I can't just sit here and let you tumble around in those all day, Jigen… As much as I enjoy it…" replied Fujiko as she closed her magazine and walked over to her luggage.

"Thank God!" Jigen sighed in relief as he kicked off the heels and lied on the bed. He placed his fedora over his eyes and was beginning to drift off to sleep when Fujiko tossed aside his fedora and looked downward at Jigen.

"Act two," said Fujiko with a smile.

"Act two? I'll just wear a damn mask!" Jigen said with a shrug.

"Na-ah… Lupin gave specific instructions… Real face…"

"Yeah, girl with a beard…. Now I'll never get a date to the dance," Jigen gave a small chuckle at his own joke. "Wake me up in half an hour…"

"Um, how about no… Sit up," Fujiko opened her case and removed a small perfume bottle from it. She sprayed Jigen once, and he coughed and hacked in response.

"What the hell is that?" Jigen asked in a cough. "Did you just mace me?"

"Chanel… One of your best friends… Hopefully if you're dosed in enough of this it'll get the smell of cigarettes out…"

"Why are you even agreeing to help Lupin, Fujiko? I mean really…"

"I want to see you suffer… You hate women so much, let's see how you like living as one for a change, hm?" Fujiko responded cheerily.

"That's it? You're just out to get me?" asked Jigen, "Do you hate me that damn much?"

"Yup," Fujiko nodded, "Now let's see if we can do something with that hair…"

"Fine…" Jigen sighed as he sat up on the bed while Fujiko sat behind him with a pair of scissors, cutting away here and there, "I think I'm gonna call this off… I can't do this… I like Lupin and all, but friendship has its bounds, you know?"

"M-hm… This must really bother you if you're talking to me, Jigen… Jeeze you've got a lot of split ends… You're one of those guys who thinks shampoo and soap are the same thing, aren't you?"

"It's weird, that prize… Who did Lupin say was heading this competition, anyway?"

"Some Russian guy who's got a daughter in the competition… She's one of the best there is… She's about as good as you, Jigen…"

"Heh, yeah friggin' right… You know her name?"

"Emma… Emma Nokonvich…"

"Emma?" Jigen shot his head up, and Fujiko gave a curse.

"I just cut out this huge chunk, Jigen, but I think I can fix it…"

"Do whatever you can… Let's just get this down as soon as possible…" replied Jigen with a new vigor in his voice.

"Huh? What are you so gung-ho about?" asked Fujiko worriedly.

"I know Emma… She can shoot well because I'm the one who taught her… I need to finish some business with her…"

"In that case could we do highlights? You'd look nice with red highlights, the more I look at you."

"What the friggin' hell ever you've got to do, do it!"

"….You must've loved her at one time, I take it…"

"You could call it love, I guess."

The Following Afternoon, a Local Cafe:

"Where in the hell are they? They were supposed to be here over an hour an hour ago!" said Lupin as he looked down at his watch, at his newspaper, and back at Goemon, "How like a woman, eh?"

"You boys looking for us?" Lupin turned about at the sound of Fujiko's name, and Goemon could not help but spit out his tea at the sight of Fujiko's friend. A taller woman, of some Asian and Mediterranean descent, with straight black hair and long nails. She was dressed in a purple short-sleeved dress, and had a bust reasonably smaller in comparison to Fujiko's.

"Took me all night, but I think we got a real beauty queen on our hands…" Fujiko continued, smiling at her handiwork.

"Jigen?" Lupin blinked a few times in awe, "Wow… You're kinda hot for a guy…"

Jigen wrapped a hand about Lupin's neck and hissed to the gentleman thief, "I'm gonna friggin' kill you…"

"Okay, now, Diana, hee hee… Let's behave… We still need to work on the voice… He still sounds like he's choking on a frog…" Fujiko admitted as she pried Lupin free from Jigen's death grip.

"What, he sounds like a typical smoker…" replied Lupin with a shrug. "We'll just say he's from the inner-city."

"It's kind of disturbing, though…" Goemon admitted as he took a sip of his tea, shakily. He added in some sugar as well, something he never did. The most disturbing thing of it was, in Goemon's mind, that Jigen was an attractive woman, although a little on the broad-shouldered side.

"Please tell me those are fake earrings," said Lupin with a twitch of a smile.

"I reassured him the holes close up soon," replied Fujiko, patting Jigen on the shoulder.

"I'm getting paid big time for this, Lupin… You owe me your damn life, you hear?" Jigen shouted angrily.

"Okay, princess, you want to quit whining long enough to hear what I have to say? Just let the man do the talking…" Lupin sighed, and removed a small box from his pocket. "There's a cap in here for one of your teeth…"

"How'd you get a hold of my dental records?"

"It isn't that hard, Jigen… Come on, this is the guy who even knows your real name…"

"You what?" Jigen yelped.

"Anyway, you place this in your mouth like so," Lupin reached forward and fit the cap on one of Jigen's teeth, "and it'll change any vibrations coming from your squawk-box into the lovely sounds of a woman around your age…"

"I hate you so damn much!" Jigen shouted. Goemon and Fujiko both grew pale in disturbed horror as they listened to the feminine voice emit from Jigen's mouth. Even the gunman placed a hand over his mouth and gasped in shock, "Did that come from my—Holy crap!"

Lupin gave a long laugh, and fell out of his chair, "Damn this is terrific! HA HA HA HA!"

Jigen snarled, and began to pummel Lupin with the purse he carried at his side. Lupin eventually walked away from their fight with a black eye, and Jigen with a broken nail.

Later that evening, Jigen locked himself into the bathroom, and was close to falling asleep in the tub, "My ankles hurt, my back hurts… That friggin' broken nail was a bitch…" he said to himself as he lied in the tub, looking up at the ceiling and counting the tiles.

The door opened, and Fujiko walked in without a second thought, but quickly began to back out as she realized that someone had already taken up residence.

"Eh, don't worry… Just us girls, here…" Jigen said in a somewhat depressed sigh.

"I just came in to see if you had the blow-dryer in here… Usually I wouldn't worry about sharing, but things have changed a little…" Fujiko said as she began to rummage through a cabinet below the sink.

"Why in the hell do you bother will all of this stuff, Fujiko? Two days I've been doing this and I'm about ready to shoot myself…" said Jigen, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"You just aren't used to it is all… I've been doing it for years…"

"I feel like a bastard for ever telling a girl she took too long in the bathroom…" Jigen admitted.

"Hm," Fujiko looked downward at him and smiled, "someone's beginning to learn their lesson, Mr. Misogynist…"

"Don't get me wrong, I think you're all still backstabbers, but you sure as hell go through a lot just to get ready…"

"Maybe you just haven't found the right one yet," Fujiko leaned down a little more, and rested an elbow on the rim of the tub. "Everyone out there's got a person they love, even if they haven't met them yet… There's even someone out there for a complete bastard like you!"

"Thanks, I think…"

"Not a problem… Now don't forget that shampoo and soap come in different bottles," Fujiko rose and walked out, blow-dryer in hand.

The Following Afternoon in Monaco:

"Name?" asked the man at the check-in counter.

"Diana Derringer," replied Jigen.

"And you, Sir?" the clerk turned to Goemon.

"Yukitori Ichikawa…"

"And ma'am?" he swiveled about in his chair to face Fujiko.

"Angie Holiday, U.S. Herald…" replied Fujiko, flashing her press pass.

"A reporter, hm?"

"I'm following Miss Derringer around for a year… You know, one of those trials and tribulations deals…" Fujiko answered in her best American accent.

"Very well… You're very lucky, Mr. Ichikawa," said the clerk as he looked up at Goemon and smiled. "You've got quite a lovely girlfriend there…"

"Yes, well, she's… Never afraid to speak her mind…" Goemon said hesitantly.

"Could we get a picture of the happy couple checking in? Come on, get closer!" said Fujiko as she lifted her digital camera and snapped a shot of the duo together, Goemon with an arm over 'Diana's' shoulders.

"What in the hell was that for?" Jigen whispered as he followed Fujiko to their hotel room.

"I agree, Fujiko! What was the purpose of that?" asked Goemon, a little more angry than usual.

"We're going for realism, and you two are supposedly a couple but you're like six feet apart from one another at all times!" Fujiko responded.

"I think she's enjoying herself a little too much, Jigen," said Goemon in concern.

"Ya think?" Jigen sighed as he tried to press the button for the elevator, but missed due to his now long nails. He gave a small growl and tried again, but once again missed. He gave a curse, drawing attention toward them, and Fujiko hurriedly pressed the button and cleared her throat.

"Remember you can't go saying 'frigging' after every sentence, Jigen," said Fujiko sternly. "And lay off on the smoking, too… Just a little…"

"I should've stayed in the military," Jigen sighed as the doors to the elevator opened. He stopped dead in his heels as he saw the young girl already in the elevator. She was a little shorter than even Fujiko, and had long blond hair and blue eyes. She was standing next to an old, stern man, a man Jigen recognized. Fortunately, the man didn't recognize Jigen.

"Diana, what's wrong?" asked Fujiko. Goemon raised an eyebrow and looked over at the young girl, who was muttering in Russian to the heavily-built man to her left.

"Nothing… Just, um… Thought I forgot my gun…" Jigen answered in a sheepish laugh and stepped into the elevator. He found himself standing next to the young girl, who squinted in his direction, as if trying to place exactly where she knew him from. Jigen looked back down at her and she flushed.

"I… I'm sorry… I thought you looked like someone I knew once…" she said quietly in a thick Russian accent, "I'm Emma, by the way… Who're you?"

"Diana," Jigen replied. "Emma… Aren't you the one holding this competition?"

"Oh, no, that's my Papa!" Emma laughed in response, looking back at the older man. "I couldn't orchestrate anything this big… So where are you from, Diana?"

"Chicago, originally…"

"Really?" Emma gasped, and her eyes lit immediately, "Hey, maybe we had the same teacher! You look like you could even be related to him, it's scary! His name was Daisuke Jigen, but everyone called him Jigen… I just called him 'Dai' a lot… I couldn't pronounce anything else of his name… I was only nine when he taught me to shoot!"

"Nine?" Fujiko yelped, "I, I mean… Nine? My goodness, you've been shooting a while, hm?"

"Emma, what have I told you about mentioning that sewer rat? He kills your brother, and you talk about him like he's a saint," snapped the old Russian man. Goemon and Fujiko both gave stunned looks, and Jigen clenched his fists. Emma simply looked down at the floor and remained silent until the doors opened and she walked out behind her father.

She looked back at Jigen and smiled, "I'd really like it if we got together sometime, Diana! You seem like a really cool lady! Bye!" Emma waved good-bye, and as she turned a corner, Jigen became the subject of severe questioning.

"You were in love with a nine-year old?" Fujiko shrieked.

"You killed her brother?" Goemon added in a disbelieving shout.

"I didn't mean love like that! I meant like she was a like a daughter!" Jigen snapped, "What in the hell did you think I meant? And as for the brother thing--"

"Excuse me, Ma'am… Inspector Zenigata, Interpol," Jigen spun about, and realized that his day had gone from bad to worse, "We're just doing a routine check on people visiting the hotel this weekend… This here is a latex-resistant scanner… I hope you don't mind, but this is to see if you're actually Lupin the Third… He's here, supposedly, although I've yet to see…" Zenigata explained, holding up a simple scanning device.

_'That explains the no-masks deal Lupin had going…' _Jigen thought. He looked to Goemon, who Zenigata failed to recognize due to the fact Ishikawa was dressed in a suit and had his hair pulled back. Fujiko also went unrecognizable in her blonde wig and green contacts. And of course Jigen went unnoticed, although Zenigata was slightly suspicious. He leaned in toward Jigen and gave a long hard look.

"Did we go on a blind date once in Tokyo… About six years back?" asked Zenigata.

"Um, I don't think so," Jigen responded hurriedly. "Umm… Come on, guys! Let's get to the hotel room!"

"Right," Goemon and Fujiko nodded, and walked down the hall, and way from Pops as quickly as possible without looking suspicious.

"I could swear I know that face from somewhere…" Zenigata said to himself, rubbing his chin, "Where, though… Eh, I shouldn't be concerned with old flames, anyway… The only one I want now is Lupin! Not in that way, but all the same—Damn it! Stop talking to yourself out loud, Zenigata! You know the psychiatrist they hired for you said that was bad! Crap!"

"That was close," Jigen said, closing the door behind them and leaning against the door. "Finally, I can take off this damn girdle!"

"Not so fast—What if someone comes in?" asked Fujiko.

"I agree, Jigen… It'd be best if you stayed in a disguise for a little while longer…"

"Fujiko, you can go to hell. Goemon, you may be my friend, but you can go to hell with her… I'm taking a shower. I've been wearing this getup for nine hours now…"

"As long as you don't ruin your hair! It takes forever to flat-iron it!" Fujiko called. She turned to Goemon and smirked, "You want to call room service an order some takeout?"

"I actually saw a nice diner downstairs… They sell sushi," Goemon answered.

"Hm, sounds good—Diana, we're heading out—Anything you want?"

"Ice… Lots of ice… And something with steak in it…" Jigen responded from the other side of the bathroom.

Fujiko and Goemon exited soon after, each thinking that the other had locked the door. Jigen remained in the bathroom, oblivious to the fact that someone had entered the hotel room.

He was about to walk out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped about his waist, but stopped as he heard rustling from the other side.

"Who's there?" he shouted, picking up his gun.

"Someone here to ask the most beautiful girl in the world for a date," Lupin the Third chuckled. Jigen threw open the door, still in the towel, a feminine hairstyle and acrylic nails. Lupin couldn't stifle the laughter that came to him.

"What in the hell do you want, Lupin?" asked Jigen with a sigh.

Lupin forced himself to speak through the laughter, "I came to say hi is all…"

"Yeah… That and laugh again…" Jigen grumbled as he walked into the bathroom, "Make yourself useful and help me hook my bra…"

"Hm… Wow… These feel real… And I should know…" Lupin said to himself as he reached around to Jigen's chest and felt the fake bust.

"Bastard!" Jigen stomped on Lupin's foot and the thief gave a howl of pain.

"Damn it! Fujiko teach you that, too?" Lupin yelped.

"I've got a competition later this afternoon… You gonna watch?"

"Probably, for my own amusement… Hey… Don't you use a fedora to help aim?"

"Yeah, and I… Oh, crap…"

"Eh, if I'm not mistaken, there'll be another girl out there with a hat… You won't stand out as much… Just say Jigen taught you… It wouldn't be a complete lie…"

"Lupin, I didn't _bring _a fedora…"

"Don't you worry, my princess, your thieving knight in shining armor has come through," Lupin stepped back to reveal a fedora lying upon Jigen's bed.

"Thanks… You know when you talk like that I can't tell if you're really hitting on me or not…"

"Please, Goemon's been the one looking at your legs this whole time…"

"He's _what_?"

"Well, ciao, Baby, I've got a date to keep…" Lupin covered his face with a pair of glasses and a moustache, and he was soon a regular housekeeper. He flashed Jigen and a smile, and exited through the front door, "Have a good time, young lady!"

"Yes, Sir… Have a good friggin' evening…" Jigen said to himself as he finished changing into his outfit for the competition—A simple red dress that oddly enough matched the black fedora Lupin had sent him. The makeup was the worst part for him.

"An olive complexion and Almond eyes… Crap…" sighed Jigen as he scanned through a magazine Fujiko had left him with for reference.

A short while later, he was downstairs, as were well over a hundred women… Many were carrying rifles.

"Jeeze… Under different circumstances I might've been able to find a date here…" Jigen said to himself as he picked up a pamphlet and read through the schedule. He glanced over the pamphlet and saw an all-too familiar girl speaking with a taller dark haired American girl.

"So you use a fedora to shoot?" the dark haired girl laughed to the blonde girl, Emma.

"Yes," Emma nodded in response, looking downward at her dark-blue fedora and back up at the American.

"Funny, I use a gun…" the raven-haired woman answered.

"Diana!" Emma called from across the room. Jigen cringed as he heard his false name called; he had planned on remaining as unnoticed as possible. "Come over here, please!"

"Hi, Emma… And…"

"Alexandra Marriott… I like Alex better though," Alex replied with a handshake.

"Alex…. Alex and Emma…" Jigen nodded.

"Ha! Just like the movie!" Emma laughed.

"Like the _what_?" Jigen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't know; I'm more for action flicks… How about you, Diana?" asked Alex, looking the off-guard Jigen.

"Um…. I'm not really into movies," Jigen admitted.

"How about Westerns?" Emma inquired, turning to Alex.

"Heh, if it's not John Wayne, it's not worth my time…" Alex responded with a shrug.

"You like Westerns?" Jigen asked in shock.

"Um… Yes…." replied Emma with a nod, "Why do you ask?"

"Well, it's just that… I've never met another brao—Er, lady, who liked Westerns…." Jigen replied. The real reason was that the Emma he had known, the child, had hated it when he watched Westerns.

"They remind me of my teacher!" Emma smiled.

"Oh, yes, that man you mentioned earlier…" Jigen said distantly.

"Not this again…" Alex grumbled, sighed and placed a hand over her forehead. She looked upward at Jigen and smiled, "Wait until you hear this little speech…"

Emma gave a hurt expression, and turned to Jigen, "She's just jealous that I had a mobster teach me…. And she's jealous that I'm the best…"

"You keep talkin'… We'll let the contest be the judge," Alex smiled and lifted up her gun case, "What're you packing, Diana?"

"Say wha… Oh, gun, yeah!" Jigen chuckled, "A .79 Magnum…"

"For long range? You're kidding… You must be damn good or a total moron who only got in on her parents' money…" said Alex with a smirk, "I can't wait to see this…"

"Oh, you will," Jigen said in a slightly angered growl. There was then an announcement for the women to gather, and Jigen picked up his case and left for the target range.

Through dumb luck, perhaps, he was placed in-between Alex and Emma. These three also placed in the top ten, along with two more Americans, a Brazilian, an Ethiopian, an Australian, and two who looked Eastern European, but this was hard to determine.

"Great way to look inconspicuous, Jigen…" Fujiko sighed as she looked from the stands with a pair of binoculars, "That idiot's using a handgun and shooting the targets like it's long-range!"

"He couldn't find the Walther long-distance gun he uses…" replied Goemon. Fujiko turned to Goemon and tossed him the binoculars, and rose. "Where are you going?" Goemon inquired.

"To go find Calamity Jane a long-distance rifle…" replied Fujiko in a huff. "At least he could've used something with a scope… Showoff…"

"Popcorn, peanuts! My phone number!" Goemon turned his head and looked at the suspicious vendor, "Only attractive ladies, preferably blondes, please!"

"Relax, Lupin, Fujiko left to go get Jigen a gun…" Goemon sighed, "And I'll take a bag of the peanuts, please…."

"Three-fifty, please," said Lupin with a chuckle.

"What? You're charging your friends!" Goemon yelped.

"Hey, these props and disguises don't pay for themselves…" Lupin replied.

"Here," Goemon grumbled and dug into his wallet for a few bills.

"You want a commemorative cup, too? Four-seventy-five only!"

Goemon looked upward, unamused, "I may be younger than you, but that doesn't mean I'm a child… What have you found out so far?"

"It's in a note in the bag of peanuts…" replied Lupin with a smile, "I've gotta go now… My hotdogs and hamburgers are getting cold…"

"Excuse me, do you have popcorn?" Lupin cringed at this slightly gravelly voice and turned about to come face-to-face with Zenigata. Even the stoic Goemon found some humor in this.

"Karma is truly a fair mistress…" Goemon said to himself.

Lupin gave a small glare, and made sure to 'accidentally' knock Goemon on the back of the head with his vendor's box as he passed by the samurai.

Goemon grumbled to himself, and looked upward as another series of shots were fired, "I wonder how Jigen's taking it… Many of those women are his age or younger and they're doing just as well as he is…" Goemon opened the note within the packet of peanuts, scanned through it and nodded, "Well, it's not like the prize instead of Cracker Jacks, but it's about as good…"

The End of the Day, Inside the Hotel:

"I can't believe they called it a draw just because some dumb judge got in the way and got shot!" Alex sighed as she forked through her dinner. She shared the table with Emma, 'Diana', Fujiko and Goemon.

"Is it hard using those?" Emma asked as she looked down at the chopsticks Goemon used.

"Not if you grow up using them…" Goemon responded.

"So how long have you and Diana been going out, anyway?" asked Emma.

Jigen and Goemon looked up at one another, each looking to the other for an answer. Jigen finally spoke, "He was a friend of the family…"

"He looks younger than you… So you pulled a Demi Moore, neh?" asked Alex with a small smirk.

"Eh, yeah…" Jigen responded uncomfortably, shifting in his seat a little.

"At least it all ended happily for you guys… So you two engaged yet or what?"

"Does this have grouper in it? I'm not big on grouper, but my goodness this is good!" said Fujiko as she saw how uncomfortable Goemon and Jigen appeared throughout the course of this conversation.

"…It's chicken…" a slightly confused Emma replied.

"Chicken… Yum… That was my second guess," Fujiko nodded and took another sip of her wine.

"I need to get a breath of fresh air… Diana, would you like to come with me? Please?" Emma asked pleadingly.

"Sure," Jigen rose, and left Goemon and Fujiko with the strange young American girl.

Emma led Jigen out of the hotel and to a nearby scenic jogging route, lit by bluish streetlights.

"That technique you used today… Only one man could've used that same technique…" Emma said quietly. Jigen gave a small gulp and the blood rush from his head; he was hoping to see Emma again someday, but not under these circumstances.

Emma looked back at Jigen and stood in front of him, "You're related to Daisuke, aren't you? Daisuke Jigen?"

"Heh, you got me! I'm his little sister!" Jigen replied with a nervous chuckle. "I know, I kind of look like him… I just didn't want to have Inspector Zenigata interrogating me over it, is all!"

"I understand," Emma nodded. "I won't tell your secret… But could you please tell me if he ever talks about me?"

"All of the time!" Jigen answered, "He says you were one of his best students!"

"Really!" Emma smiled, "I wish I could see him again… I'd give anything just to talk with him…"

"I'll see what I can arrange…" said Jigen.

Emma's blue eyes lit, and she gasped and smiled, "Y-You will? Wonderful!" She embraced Jigen tightly, "Thank you, Diana…"

"Not a problem, Emma… You know, he always thought of you as a daughter…"

"Hrm… Well, can I tell you a secret, Diana? You promise you won't tell your brother?" Emma gave a small chuckle. "When I was a little girl I had a little bit of a crush on him… Of course now I think of him as the father I wished I'd ended up with…"

"Really?" Jigen could not help but flush a little at this, "I know for a fact he never had a clue about that…"

"I'm kind of glad… I'd die if I knew he knew about that!" Emma laughed. "It's late, we better be getting back… My father's super-protective of me…"

"Sounds like a good idea," Jigen nodded, and walked back with Emma to the hotel.

Meanwhile, in the deepest recesses of the hotel, Lupin was still looking for the object of his wanting. He had already secured the registration fees and replaced them with fakes. The real money was stored away inside the seats of the Alfa Romeo.

So currently the thief was sneaking through the air vents, passing over the kitchen, several store rooms, and now he was currently passing of the room of Emma's father. He stopped and listened to hear the conversation he was having with a stout little man. Lupin was struck by how gaunt and pale the man was in comparison to Emma's father.

"How much longer do we have to wait?" asked Emma's father, pacing about the hotel room anxiously.

"It's ready whenever you find a girl who's just as good as your daughter… Emma has already had the serum, so someone who has her ability will surely make a fitting partner…" replied the eerie-looking man.

"Hm?" Lupin leaned in to hear better; this was growing more and more bizarre by the minute.

"We've got two in the lead so far… Alexandra Marriott and this newcomer…."

"Of the Marriott family? They're very well-known here… Are you sure we can't find someone else? They'll more than likely miss her; she's like a more reserved Paris Hilton… Who's the other one?"

"Relax; I already found a girl willing to replace Marriott if need be… She looks just like her, sounds just like her… It's eerie… All she lacks is that wonderful shooting ability…"

"You keep mentioning another one but you don't say much about her…" said the scientist with some concern.

"She's a little suspicious… Looks like a man I knew once who worked for me…" replied the Russian.

"Really? Who's that?"

"You've never met him… He goes by 'Daisuke Jigen'…"

"Jigen," Lupin whispered in a gasp. Lupin had not even had a clue about the connection between the two; it certainly did make sense now why Jigen had agreed to wear the dress, though… The gunman had a vendetta.

"I've seen him… Why, does this woman look like him?"

"Yes… But no way could it be the same proud bastard who I left for dead… She's a relative, at the most…" the Russian shrugged. "And if that's the case, then using her as an assassin would make Jigen want to do himself in… But the Marriott girl, now…"

"Why not use them both and save your daughter?"

"Because Emma already knows more than I'd like her to… A suicide mission would be perfect…"

Lupin wiped the sweat away from his forehead, and slowly crept away, slightly shaken by this new information.

The Lupin Gang Hotel room:

"I can't use this…" Jigen said as he looked down at the rifle.

"I went to a totally different county to get it for you—You better!" Fujiko snapped, pointing at the hunting rifle and continuing her rant.

"Okay, then I won't use it…"

"Why not?"

"It's a woman's rifle…"

"Duh!" Fujiko reached forward and hit him on the forehead, "Look in a mirror! Grrr… Goemon, you deal with him a little while… I'm going to go get some ice…!" the brunette in the blonde wig stormed out, leaving the samurai and the gunman together.

Jigen removed the rifle from its case and sighed; as much as he didn't like Fujiko, she certainly had gone to a lot of trouble. He took eyes away from the gun briefly and looked upward at Goemon, who sat in his usual pissy expression. He frowned a little, and tried to figure what Goemon was staring at. He looked downward at his legs and then back up at the samurai. Goemon sputtered a little when he realized he had been caught and he turned on the television in hopes the situation would go away.

"Um… Goemon… I know we've been friends for a while, so I'd be fine with it if you told me you were--"

"You guys aren't going to friggin' believe this!" Lupin yelped as he burst through the door to the hotel room and slammed it behind him, and inadvertently into Fujiko's face. There was a knock upon the door, and Lupin turned about and opened it, and came face-to-face with an annoyed Fujiko. He soon found the bucket of ice she had been carrying on him. The ice cubes were everywhere, and the tan bucket had been smashed upon his skull.

When he finally came to, he explained the situation to everyone, who remained in stunned silence while Lupin relayed the events of the night to them. Lupin purposely left out the part of Emma already being injected with the mysterious serum.

Jigen rose, and snapped the rifle case shut, and began to walk toward the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Lupin.

"To go kill Vladimir…"

"Who?" Fujiko inquired.

"Emma's father… It'll be quick and quiet…" Jigen reassured them, "I'll just use a pillow as a silencer…"

"Jigen, wait just a second, okay?" asked Lupin pleadingly, "If we do that we'll have hundreds of armed babes going bananas… We'll have the cops here, the press—Everyone…"

"What do you suggest we do, then?" asked Jigen in a snap.

"I'm going to try to get a sample of that serum… Even a blood sample from Emma will do," Lupin explained.

"I know you around women, and if you even get near her I'll break your damn fingers…" Jigen warned.

"What the hell's your problem, you got a thing for the daughter?" asked Lupin, "She's got to be nineteen at the most, Jigen… I'm one for love knows no bounds, but isn't that slightly out of your range?"

"She's more of a daughter to Jigen," replied Fujiko.

"I'll get the blood sample… I don't know how, but I'll do it…" said Jigen, setting down the gun case.

"I want you to watch out for another girl, too… You and a girl from the Marriott family are front-runners for the grand prize; playing guinea pigs…."

"Well, I've always thought you were at least part Guinea, Jigen, and I've always thought of you as a pig, but you don't deserve that…" said Fujiko.

"We'll all keep an eye on them…" Goemon chimed in.

"I'm sure you will, pal," Lupin gave the samurai a little wink and Goemon returned this with a shocked expression. "Well, I'm gonna grab some sleep, now… If anyone calls for me I'm in the bathtub…"

"Even if it's Pops?" Fujiko inquired with a little laugh.

"Eck, if it's Zenigata tell him I'm in Juneau…" Lupin grumbled, walking into the bathroom. He gave a curse and opened the bathroom door once again, "Which one of you left the flat iron on? It's hot as hell! I just friggin' burned myself!"

"It's not my fault my mom had wavy hair!" Jigen called in response.

Lupin repeated this in a mocking tone and shut the door once again, still cursing to himself.

"Oh, if he has a problem he can just use some of the ice I threw down his pants to put on the wound…" Fujiko sighed, waving him off, "I'm gonna hit the sack, too… How about you two?"

"We'll catch you in a few," Jigen responded before Goemon had the chance to answer. He waited until Fujiko was out of the room before locking the hotel room door and sitting down in front of Goemon. "Okay, now we're gonna talk… I know you're no good at conversation, but fortunately you're also a friggin' boyscout who's a bad liar…"

"Jigen, I don't see why this is necessary," Goemon sighed.

"It's really necessary! You were friggin' leering at me!"

"I leer at everyone…"

"Do you know what that word even means?"

"Somewhat… A woman in a bus once accused me of doing so… Then she slapped me…"

"Do you even really_ like_ women, is what I'm tryin' to ask…"

"My personal life is none of your business, Jigen," Goemon rose, and walked out of the room, annoyed that Jigen had even brought up the subject. Jigen sighed, rolled his eyes and walked into the room he had split with Fujiko. She was already asleep, her wig on the nightstand next to her. Jigen took a wipe and cleaned his face, and looked in the mirror. He shuddered a little at what he saw, and then continued readying for bed.

The Next Morning, After the Shooting Competition:

"And it's down to five, ladies and gentlemen!" The announcer called, "Two Americans, a Russian, a Brazilian an Israeli!"

"Well, looks like we're tying," Jigen said with a smirk to Alex as they walked off toward the hotel, where they would now be treated to a complimentary lunch. Emma soon joined them and they got a table together at the restaurant inside the hotel.

"We may all tie now, but we'll just have to wait and see who comes out on top," Alex smiled as she sipped her drink.

"Looks like it'll be you, Diana…" said Emma. "You seem like you've been doing this a long time…"

"Since I was a kid," Jigen answered, and nearly spat out his drink as he too began to drink. "What in the hell _is_ this?"

"A margarita… You've never had one?" asked Alex, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but I don't remember them sucking this bad… I'm gonna change this out for something a little up to my standard…" Jigen rose from the table and walked back over to the bar.

While he stood at the bar, an all-too familiar thief introduced himself as Thomas, Diana's brother. Jigen nearly dropped his scotch as he saw Lupin waving to him from the table.

"Heya there, Sis! How're you doing?" asked 'Tom'.

Jigen's eye twitched a bit and he ground his teeth together, "What are you doing here?"

"Watching my favorite sister shoot a bunch of crap," replied Lupin with a smirk.

"I had no idea you had two brothers!" Emma gasped and gave a small laugh, "He doesn't look much like you…"

"I was adopted," Lupin shrugged.

"Oh my goodness, that's so sad," Emma gasped.

"Eh, it wasn't so bad…" Lupin leaned in to Jigen and whispered, "Two brothers?"

"Yep, bro… You know our other brother… Daisuke…"

"Daisuke, Tom and Diana… Heh… Well then again his real name's not Daisuke, it's—"

"Who wants to go watch a movie?" asked Jigen, clasping his hands together.

"Heh heh, that'll be so cute… You all can do one another's hair, and have a sleepover…" a smile appeared upon Lupin's face and he placed a hand on Alex's shoulder, which she quickly slapped away.

"Can it, Monkey Man…" Alex snapped.

"Heh, that must make you Tweeter… Get it, the Traveling Wilburrys? Harrison, Orbison, Dylan… I'm feeling so old right now…" Lupin mumbled.

"Why don't you do your friggin' job for a change, eh?" Jigen snapped.

"Yeah, have fun playing in your little Oz world, Dorothy…" Lupin replied, and turned away from the group.

"So, did you bring a date for tonight?" Alex asked Emma.

"No… My father doesn't like me dating…. You?"

"Heh, nah… I'm thinking about just heading to the damn thing for the food, anyway…" Alex admitted.

"What thing?" Jigen asked with a frown.

"Well, there's a dance tonight… Didn't you read the brochure?" asked Emma.

"I have to dress up?" Jigen yelped.

"Heh, that was my _same _reaction…" Alex laughed a little and rose, "You aren't that bad for someone who looks like an Amazonian princess, Diana…" She patted Jigen as she passed by him and walk toward the elevator, "I think I'll pass on the movie for now, but you two have fun…"

"I actually have to get going… My father doesn't like it when I'm away from him…" Emma rose from her seat and followed Alex to the elevator, "I'll see you tonight, Diana!"

"Yeah, you too…" Jigen waved weakly and then turned back around and rested his elbows upon the white metal table of the restaurant. "A dance…"

The Hotel Room, Later that Night:

"You didn't tell me about the friggin' dance!" Jigen repeated as he shrieked into his microphone once more. Lupin, who was on the other end, gave a shudder.

"Damn it, I'm like three feet from you… You don't have to shout like a fishwoman!"

"Jigen, relax, we're all going to be there…" Fujiko sighed as she zipped up the back of Jigen's royal blue strapless dress.

Jigen looked in the mirror, and turned to the left and then the right, "It makes me look fat…"

"Spoken like a true honorary woman," Fujiko sighed as she then turned her attention to her own outfit, a black low-cut sequined number.

"Where's Goemon, anyway?" asked Jigen.

"Your date is more than likely putting on his clip-on tie," Lupin chuckled. After he spoke, Goemon came out, dressed in a tuxedo. He wore his usual annoyed expression and carried a 'cane' (Zantetsuken in disguise) at his side.

"Goemon and Jigen… You two look absolutely stunning… Ah, they grow up so fast, don't they, Fujiko?" Lupin gave a small chuckle, and Jigen returned this with 'the bird'.

"Ya got that right," Fujiko responded.

"Well, let us be off!" Lupin offered Fujiko his hand, which she nodded, smiled and took. Goemon looked at Jigen hesitantly, and then the same. Jigen also hesitated, and then took his arm.

The two groups walked down to the main ballroom of the hotel, which was truly stunning for an American hotel.

"I say we split up… Fujiko's going to try to get that serum… Jigen, Goemon, you two be on the lookout for anything suspicious…" Lupin ordered.

"And you'll be doing what, exactly?" asked Jigen.

Lupin smiled, "Finding that rich American girl, of course…"

"Of course," Jigen and Goemon sighed in response. Lupin was soon lost in the crowd, and the two were left to their own devices.

"I guess we should just hang out here, neh? God they're all wearing straps… If that bitch Fujiko made me look like some kind if frumpy whore, I swear I'll…"

"You look very nice," Goemon said, closing his eyes and exhaling tensely.

"Eh…" Jigen could not seem to find an answer for this; Goemon's comment had caught him off guard, "Thanks, man… I…"

"Not a problem… I really need a drink…" Goemon quickly left Jigen and walked over to the concession table.

"Heh, guess it must be my personality, then…" Jigen shrugged, and seated himself on of the chairs sitting against the wall, "I haven't felt this awkward since my high school prom…"

"So you've taken to talking to yourself, now?" Jigen looked to his right and saw Alex Marriott sitting next to him.

"What're you doing here?" asked Jigen.

"Watching a bunch of rich twits circle around until they're near puking… This is worse than a Ginger Rogers movie…" sighed Alex.

"Are you saying that because you don't have a date?"

"What? Who in the hell do you think you are to—"

"J-Just asking… You look a little down, is all…" Jigen held up his hands in defense.

"I'm back," Goemon seated himself next to Jigen and then looked over at Alex. "Hello, Ms. Marriott… You want this punch?"

"Thanks," Alex took the glass gratefully and drank from it. "You're pretty damn lucky, Diana… You found a nice polite guy who probably doesn't love you just for your money…"

"Definitely not," Jigen gave a small chuckle at the thought of his own bank account, mere chump change compared to some of the money the women dancing about sported.

"All I get are creeps…" Alex sighed.

"Hey, there you are!" Lupin smiled and said cheerily as he came upon Alex and sat on her left.

"Grade-A Example, right here…" Alex grumbled, pointing over her shoulder at the smiling thief.

"Hey, why aren't you two out there… Looking for things…?" Lupin asked Jigen and Goemon with slight chiding in his voice.

Jigen grumbled and rose from the chair, "Come on, let's go…" he sighed as stomped out to the ballroom floor.

"I don't know how to dance," Goemon said with a little worry.

"I do… It's one of the easiest things to fake along with love and passports," Jigen answered. "It's a slow one, fortunately…"

"I'd probably trip in these shoes if it were anything faster," Goemon laughed in an attempt to make light of the situation. "So do you really have a brother and a sister, Jigen?"

"Yeah… Haven't seen them in years, though…" Jigen admitted.

"That's quite unfortunate to hear…"

"You got any?"

"No; only child," Goemon replied. "I can't believe I find this out after knowing you for so many years, though…"

"Heh, I know… We usually don't have opportunities, though…"

"You still don't!" Lupin hissed into Jigen's microphone, "You two lovebirds are making goggly-eyes and a camel in a nun costume on roller skates could roll through with Uzis strapped to it for all you know!"

"We aren't doing anything like that!" Jigen snapped in response, "We're just talking—Are we not allowed to do that?"

"….You've been hanging out with Fujiko…." Lupin replied after a small stunned pause. "I'm gonna head out with Marriott…"

"You seen Emma around?" asked Jigen.

"Nope. You?" Lupin answered.

"Nah-ah… I'm starting to worry…" Jigen admitted.

"She'll be fine, Jigen… I'll keep an eye out for her," said Lupin.

"Thanks, man," Jigen cringed a little bit as Goemon stepped upon his foot.

"Sorry… I know I should've taken lessons…" Goemon sighed apologetically.

"Nah, you're not bad for a first timer…" Jigen admitted. "Thankfully tomorrow's the last day of the competition… I may just go ahead and lose on purpose… Not the best for my pride, but then again, neither is this…"

"Then you're back to your old self?" Goemon asked.

"Well, I don't really plan on making a hobby out of cross-dressing…" Jigen laughed a little at this, "Why do you ask?"

"I've just really grown to like this version, too," Goemon admitted.

Jigen raised an eyebrow and attempted to piece this information together. He shuddered as he came to the conclusion, "Ohhhhh…. Goemon, I'm sorry, but… You know that that'd be weird…"

"Yes, I know," Goemon sighed. "I just forget it's you in there sometimes, Jigen… I can't help but to think of Diana as her own person, too… And she's basically the kind of woman I'd like to find eventually."

"Eh, you'll meet someone, Pal… Don't fret over it…" Jigen looked across the crowd, and saw Emma, in a white ballroom gown, "You can't help but think she looks like an angel…"

"You're in love with her?" asked Goemon.

"Nah… She's the one who made me regret not settling down and having kids, though…" Jigen responded. "I'm hoping that… If all things work out, Lupin'll let her come with us… Why don't you go ask her for a dance?"

"And what about you?" asked Goemon.

"Eh, don't worry about me… I'm gonna go get some fresh air…" Jigen waved him off and walked out one of the ballroom via one of the many large glass doors that led out to a courtyard. Jigen sighed and placed a hand on his head, "Goemon, jeeze… Poor bastard… He just wants a nice girl… Who can blame him? We all get lonely…"

"You said the serum was _what_?" Jigen snapped his head about and saw none other than Vladimir in his hotel room. Fortunately the Russian had opened a window, and Jigen could hear him clearly, "Stolen? You better get it back, and get it back now!" he slammed down a phone and then shut off his lights, muttering about 'incompetent idiots' as he closed the windows of the hotel room.

"I guess Fujiko came through…" Jigen said to himself in a little amusement. "This ain't gonna be good, though… If I know Vlad, then things are only going to get worse for all of us…"

Jigen seated himself on a stone bench, and went to draw his gun as he saw someone approach. He let off his guard, however, when he saw it was just Goemon.

"You're wrong—It's not okay!" Goemon snapped. "I am not all right with simply ignoring this!"

"_What_?" Jigen raised an eyebrow; since when had Goemon, of all people, become so vocal?

"I've known you for years, and I—It could work…"

"Listen to your friggin' self, okay? Remember who you're talking to!" Jigen snapped as he rose and faced Goemon. Ishikawa grabbed Jigen about the waist, leaned downward and kissed him.

"What'd I just swallow? A tic-tac?" asked Goemon a little worriedly.

"No!" Jigen yelped in his natural gravely voice, "My damn voice modifier!"

"Ohhh… Wow… Oops…"

"You're gonna be the one to explain this to Lupin—Not me!"

"Aww… Nothing like young love… Don't mind me, you two," Inspector Zenigata said as he briefly stopped his patrol through the garden. He clasped his hands together and smiled, "Reminds me a lot of myself and my wife when we were young…"

"Heh, that's very nice, Inspector…" Goemon said, trying to shake off the disturbing realization that Zenigata had seen the entire thing unfold.

"Oh, I found this in the garden—Is this earring yours, Ma'am?" Zenigata held up a pearl earring to Jigen. Jigen shook his head quickly in response.

"Is your girlfriend okay? She looks a little sick…" said Zenigata worriedly to Goemon.

"She's fine… Come on," Goemon said, grabbing Jigen by the arm a little too roughly for Zenigata's liking.

"Hey!" Zenigata snapped and grabbed Goemon by the shoulder. Both Jigen and Goemon stopped dead and turned around, knowing they were done for. "That's a fine woman you've got there—The next time I see you treat her like that you'll be spending the night in the pokey!"

"Noted, Inspector," Goemon nodded, and continued with Jigen, "Come on, Dear… Let's get going…"

"Good night, Miss," Zenigata removed his hat and smiled at Jigen. "If this guy gives you any more trouble just come find me…"

"Okay, thanks," Jigen said in his most feminine voice.

Zenigata's smiled faded, and he shot his head up, as if a light bulb clicked in his head, "There's no way that was… Nah! I'm just tired…."

Later that Night:

"So how'd you lose the first one?" asked Lupin asked he tinkered with a new modifier for Jigen.

"I swallowed it," Goemon admitted a with a blush.

"……How…..?" Lupin looked upward from his work briefly to inquire Goemon.

"Well, I…"

"I offered him some of my drink," Jigen chimed in quickly. "I didn't realize at the time that it had fallen out into the glass, and Goemon swallowed it…"

"Okay, I'll buy it…." Lupin nodded and returned to his work. It reality, he had heard Jigen and Goemon's argument through the microphone he had set Jigen up with, but he wanted to save the two trouble of relaying these events once again.

"I got that damn serum," Fujiko sighed as she walked in, tossing Lupin the bottle along the way. Lupin caught the bottle while never taking his eyes off of his small electronic task at hand.

"Sounds like you had a time," said Jigen.

"Like you would've believe," Fujiko admitted with a roll of the eyes as she pulled up a chair behind Jigen and pulled out a magazine from a table nearby.

"What in the hell are you doing now, Fujiko?" asked Jigen with a heavy sigh.

"Figuring out if this hairstyle'll frame your face or not…" replied Fujiko.

"Oi… I'm gonna take off this kabuki makeup and head to sleep," Jigen rose and grumbled. "See you later…"

"Good night," Lupin waved him off to bed, and then turned back to his work. "Fujiko, why don't you go set this by Jigen's nightstand, and make sure nobody digests it," Lupin held up the new cap.

"Ordinarily I wouldn't do it unless you said please, but lucky for you I'm exhausted, too," Fujiko yawned and took the small device from Lupin on her way to her room.

"So, Goemon, Jigen ever turn off his microphone?" Lupin asked as he made sure Fujiko's bedroom door was closed.

"You heard everything, didn't you?" Goemon asked with a sigh.

"Yeah…. You want to talk about it?"

"Lupin, when do I ever want to talk?"

"Well, maybe you should start; you know, bottling up that stuff can't be good for anyone… Even if you do meditate…"

"Lupin, I'd rather not talk about it…" Goemon sighed while growing increasingly perturbed.

"Okay, okay, fine… I just never saw if coming with you, of all people… I'm not disappointed or anything, Goemon… Just a little surprised… I'm not one to judge you, Goemon. You're already a thief; anything else you could possibly do wouldn't be any worse. You know Clive Barrow was bi—"

"Just. Quit. Speaking," Goemon snapped, rose, and walked into his bedroom.

"Yeesh… I think the first thing I'll do when I get out of here is find a good woman for that boy…" Lupin muttered to himself.

Meanwhile, in his darkened room, Ishikawa Goemon sat down upon his bed, his arms folded; how could he even begin to explain it to Lupin?

_'It's like two different people, almost… I know it's Jigen, but it doesn't seem like Jigen at all… I finally meet a strong woman, one I could attempt to connect with, someone who could kick a guy's ass and defend herself, and it's a guy. I really made an ass out of myself tonight… I'll be lucky if he even wants to sit next to me in the car anymore… I wish I could just make this night go away,' _Goemon thought to himself as he continued his calm meditation. _'Now they'll all probably think that the women are all fronts… My damn luck. I can't wait for the sunrise; hopefully it'll wash away any memory of tonight…'_

Goemon begged for this to be true, but he knew it would never be so.

Jigen and Fujiko's Room:

"Every time I do this I feel like I'm getting my homely little sister ready for her first date…" Fujiko chuckled as she removed another one of Jigen's false nails and set it aside.

"Ha ha ha…." Jigen grumbled. "I'm sure you're still loving this…"

"Yeah, but for different reasons, now," replied Fujiko with a small smile. "Usually when there's another girl Lupin's too busy trying to initiate her in his own special way… I may not like competition, but that doesn't mean I don't get lonely being the token girl here sometimes… Imagine for a second you were the only guy in a group of girls…"

"That's called my daily routine for the past couple of days," replied Jigen.

"And don't even lie when you say you understand everything they're saying… A lot of times it's just jibberish. That's how I feel sometimes around you, Lupin and Goemon…"

"You really know how to make a guy feel like crap, Fujiko."

"You, feeling something toward me? Other than the usual hate or contempt?"

"Heh, I know… But it's sympathy toward your condition, not you, Fujiko."

"And I love you too, Jigen."

"Please don't say that tonight… I've had enough with love for a long time, thanks to a certain bonehead," Jigen grumbled and cringed as Fujiko removed another nail.

"What'd Lupin make another pass at you?"

"Eh, not really… I'd rather like to skip tonight's events…"

"Sounds good. Well, I'm all done here… I'm going to change for bed. Good night, Jigen," Fujiko leaned inward and kissed the gunman upon the cheek, and then slunk into the bathroom, leaving Jigen with an even greater headache.

After taking two Tylenol, he walked into the common room between his room and Lupin and Goemon's, and grabbed a telephone. He sat upon the floor and waited anxiously as it continued to ring.

"Hello?" the voice was Emma's. Jigen closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

"Emma? That you? You know who this is?" Jigen asked in his natural voice.

"D-Dai? How are you? How'd you get this number?" Emma squealed happily.

"Hm, I have my sources… I just wanted to call you and let you know that I'm really proud of you, and my sister's been telling me all about you…" Jigen said, pain in each sentence as he kept in mind that he was telling her one lie upon another.

"Really? Yes, I've been hanging out with Diana and another friend a lot the past few days," Emma replied. "Will you be able to make it to one of the competitions tomorrow? Please, it's the final day, and I've been doing so well… I'd love if you were there for at least one day to see me."

"…I… You got it, kid… But, eh, just don't expect to see me there… I'll be there, but I can't be seen… You know how your dad is."

"He still thinks you killed my brother."

"You haven't told him that it was you, eh?"

"No… I couldn't…" Emma responded, "I'm so sorry, Dai… I just know if I tell him I was the one who did that to Peter, he'd—"

"Don't you worry about it—You keep on with the story we set up," Jigen said sternly. "You've got a lot more to lose by telling the truth than I do. I've gotta run now, but I'll see you around. Sleep well, Kid."

"Good night, Daisuke."

"Good night, Emilia," and with that, Jigen hung up the phone.

The Next Morning:

"Last day of this friggin' competition… Thank the Lord…" Jigen said to himself as he removed his cigarette from his mouth and tossed it upon the floor, crushing it with his heel and then continuing his walk to the restaurant to catch breakfast.

"Down, boy, down…" Jigen turned his head to see Alex and his 'brother' 'Tom' at the same table. Alex had a butter knife to Lupin's neck, and was maintained her distance from him.

"Oh, what's so bad about one kiss, hm?" asked Lupin.

"I don't know what I'll catch from it," replied Alex.

"I did miss anything?" Jigen asked as he seated himself on a side opposite the two.

"Nope—I was just getting ready to kill Spanky the Wonder Chimp here…" replied Alex.

"Hm, spank and chimp… Two of my favorite words," Lupin chuckled.

"You're incorrigible!" Alex grumbled.

"And I'm sure if I knew what that meant I'd agree," replied Lupin with his usual happy chuckle and smile.

"It means kiss my ass, I'm out of here," Alex rose from the table, taking her tray along with her, and then walked out of the dining area and to the gardens.

"Heh, you think with all of the money her dad's got Marriott could afford to learn a few manners," one girl chuckled to another as she passed by Lupin and Jigen.

Jigen turned around and looked upward at the girl, "Maybe if you meet someone while you're taking lessons, _bitch_, you can give her a hand or two…"

The girls looked down at Jigen, stunned, as did Lupin.

"I didn't think being around women this long would start to make you catty, too," said Lupin in a whisper as the two women left in a huff.

"Heh, I didn't, either…" Jigen took a sip of his drink, and soon became aware of a shadow blocking out his light. He slowly looked upward and saw a woman who looked more mannish than he did in a suit.

"You're the one who called my little sister a bitch?" the woman said in a deep voice, placing her hands on her hips.

Jigen looked back at Lupin, and the thief simply shrugged, "Sasquatch's fight is with you, not me."

Jigen shakily rose in his chair, and looked upward at the Amazonian. The next thing he knew he was flying over the table, and he crashed into the bar.

"What the hell?" Fujiko gasped as she walked into the restaurant, Goemon next to her. She ran toward where a crowd had formed, and watched as Jigen threw a punch in the direction of the tall woman.

"Diana, turn your ring around!" Fujiko called to Jigen. "Turn it, around! Slap in her the face! Scratch at her eyes, c'mon!"

Jigen nodded, quickly flipped a ring Fujiko had let him borrow around, and scratched the woman across the face with his long fake nails.

"You little bitch!" the woman grabbed Jigen bye the hair and began to pull him down.

"Jigen… In a catfight… Some things never cease to amaze…" Lupin said to himself.

"Hey, you!" Goemon knocked Lupin aside and pulled Jigen out from the fight, grabbing him by the hands.

"Goemon, let go of me!" Jigen yelled.

"No!" Goemon shouted, and then turned to the tall woman. "You stop this nonsense right now!"

"Damn it let go!" Jigen shouted. He pulled his way away from Goemon's grip, and the samurai gave a puzzled glance.

"What, I… I was helping…" Goemon sputtered.

"I hate domestic disputes…" Lupin muttered to Fujiko as he watched Jigen storm off to the gardens.

"If I can't kick that bitch's ass, I'll kick yours, little man," hissed the tall woman in Goemon's direction. Ishikawa paled, and then became extremely grateful for the presence of Zenigata. He could've kissed the inspector for breaking up the fight right then, but it seemed like he just caused trouble when he did that anymore.

"Excuse me, Ma'm, you'll have to leave the premises or be escorted off," said Zenigata as he removed his handcuffs from a coat pocket.

"Says who!" the woman snapped in Zenigata's direction.

"Says the ICPO!" Zenigata snapped in response as he led her through the crowd, "I come to catch Lupin and I end up playing crowd control… Damn I need a smoke…"

"Here, take the rest of mine; I'm trying to quit," Lupin tossed Zenigata a pack of cigarettes as the cop passed by.

"Sir, you are a saint, and the ICPO thanks you," said Zenigata as he passed by Lupin without giving the thief a single glance.

"Not a problem," Lupin chuckled and waved Zenigata off. Fujiko sighed, rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Hey, you see where Jigen ran off to?" Lupin inquired as he began to look about the parting crowd for the cross-dressing crook.

"Took off in a huff…" replied Fujiko.

"Yeah, I need to talk to you about him… There's realism and then there's just friggin' scary, Fujiko, and Jigen's venturing on a fine line in between the two as of now…"

"I'm going to try and look for him."

"What? Since when do you—"

"Just keep at the work, Lupin," Fujiko kissed him on the cheek and gave her usual difficult to read smile before exiting out into the maze of gardens, leaving Goemon and Lupin in the dining area with the female shootists.

"Damn Goemon and his damn superhero save-the-friggin'-day idealist crap…" Jigen muttered as he stomped through the yard, his heels digging into the wet ground where it had rained earlier in the morning. He stopped as he became aware of a noise, and he pulled his gun. He rounded the corner, and saw Alex sitting upon a bench, her chin resting on her knees.

"Oh, hey, Diana… Sorry if I—"

"You okay kid?" Jigen seated himself next to Alex, and was more than a little shocked when she leaned against him and began to cry.

"No…" Alex wiped her eyes, "I friggin' hate all of those people!"

"Then don't waste your time on them," Jigen shrugged, _'When in the hell did I become Dr. Phil?' _he thought to himself as he looked down at the sobbing girl.

"Easy for you to say… You know, I think I know why Emma likes you so much… You're easy to talk to…" Alex wiped her eyes, "My mom's a socialite bitch, ya know? And God love my father, but running a big company doesn't allow for a lot of daddy-daughter bonding time… He's either in Singapore or duking it out with my mom… You'd be a cool mom I have the feeling…"

"I—I'm not that old!" Jigen sputtered. How old did that bitch Fujiko make him look?

"You're what, forty?"

"Thirty-nine," Jigen grumbled. "…and a half…"

Alex smirked, "Well, nineteen year age difference… Not too bad… Have you seen Emma around this morning?"

"Actually," a cold realization popped into Jigen's head, "…No… I hope she's okay… Her father's equivalent to your mom…"

"How do you know that?" asked Alex as she rose off of the bench and stretched.

"She, eh, told me…" Jigen cleared his throat. There was a moment of silence between them, and then an explosion and screams. Alex fell back on top of Jigen, and the gunman managed to grab her and saving her from falling against a thorny shrub. Alex landed on his lap, and after the initial shock from the blast she frowned and turned to Jigen.

"Um…. Diana, is there something wanted to tell me?" she asked, blinking a few times in stunned realization. She lifted Jigen's chin and the looked him in the eyes, "You've got an Adam's apple, too…" she said with a raised eyebrow.

"Could we talk later?" asked Jigen, putting her off and running back towards the hotel, where an explosion could clearly be seen from the room where he had only a day ago watched Emma's angered father scream upon the telephone. He drew his gun and worked his way through the screaming women. They were the same women who grew horrified as they realized there was a large fence surrounding the hotel.

Fujiko found Jigen and quickly explained the situation to the puzzled gunman, "Lupin was taken up by a couple of hotel bellboys who were more than they said, I'm guessing…"

"My job gets better and better," Zenigata sighed heavily as he looked upward at the flaming hole in the hotel wall and then down at a bit of fiery debris which had fallen at his feet. He sighed and bent down, and removed the pack of cigarettes which Lupin had given him earlier. He lit one of the cigarettes with the flaming mass, and looked down at the package as he rose back to his full 5'9 height. He gave a look of horror and a strained sound that was reminiscent of a drowning cat, and shoved the pack back in his pocket.

"No, it couldn't be…" Zenigata said, shaking his head, "But he did say he was going to be here, but there's no way!"

"Heya, Pops, heads up!" Lupin howled and then jumped from a tree near the burning hotel. Moments ago he had been in the flaming room himself.

"Woah, GAH!" Zenigata yelled as he caught Lupin and the thief fell into his arms.

Lupin smiled and wrapped his arms about the inspector, and kicked his legs childishly, "Oh, the lake, the trees, the sun… The smell of burning wreckage… Isn't it romantic, Zenigata? You cad, this is why you've been chasing me, haven't you? Heh, no offense, but I'm a little young for you, old man…"

Zenigata dropped Lupin upon the ground, hard, and the thief moaned and rubbed his rear as he raised himself from the grassy area.

"I guess chivalry is dead," Lupin sighed.

"You're under arrest!" Zenigata shouted.

"I haven't stolen anything yet… Besides the heart of a few young ladies," Lupin chuckled as he righted himself fully and stood face-to-face with the near-shaking ICPO inspector.

Zenigata pulled out his handcuffs and smiled as he spun them about in his hand, "Let's see how much you're laughing in the slammer… I sure as hell hope you got some here, because the next time you get lucky it'll be with a 200-pound weightlifter named Sunshine…"

"Oh, you two broke up? I hadn't heard," Lupin smirked. "Seriously, though, Zenigata, there's somethin' bad going down… The guy in charge of this thing's holding this competition in order to make himself the perfect assassin to go with his daughter to kill an Eastern European prime minister…"

"What?" Zenigata yelped. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Would this face lie, Zenigata?" asked Lupin in a pout, "Besides, I put the formula on the Marriott chick today… It looks like a bottle of insulin."

"I still don't believe you!" Zenigata shouted.

"Come on—How else would I get Jigen in a dress unless Vladimir was some bat-crazy ex-mob boss who are little fedora-loving felon has a vendetta to get out of the way?" asked Lupin with a shrug.

"Jigen's not here!"

"Heh," Lupin smiled and took a step back from Zenigata. "Come see for yourself…" The thief broke into a run, and Zenigata was hot on his tail. Lupin ran back to his friends, who were holding back Jigen from running in.

"How's my favorite girl doing?" asked Lupin, "And while we're at it, Goemon, Fujiko, how're you guys holding up?"

"He's damned and determined to go kill Vladimir," Fujiko replied in a grunt as she continued to hold back Jigen.

"Let me go!" Jigen yelled.

"Hey, buddy!" Zenigata pushed Goemon back and held his gun to the samurai, "What in the hell did I tell you about bothering her?"

"Zenigata, it's me!" Goemon untied his hair and glared at the Inspector.

"Goemon!" Zenigata gasped. He then looked at Fujiko as she removed her wig and contacts, "Fujiko!... Then that must mean you're…"

"Do we have time for this?" Jigen shouted as he held up his gun, "Just let me go kill Vladimir!"

"Jigen, if you're going to do that, there's something you need to know—He's already given Emma the serum," Lupin said sternly.

"Wha…?" Jigen's angered expression fell. "Wh-Why didn't you tell me that?"

"Because I didn't want you to freak…"

"Then you come up with a cure; I'm not having him use her as a puppet anymore!" Jigen shouted, and with that ran into the hotel.

"Lupin, he's going to kill himself!" Fujiko screamed.

"Fujiko, if there's one thing I can't stop it's love," Lupin sighed. "But all the same I'm going to make sure that he doesn't hurt himself… Fujiko, you do crowd control. Goemon, you get the gates; cut them open."

"Right!" the two nodded and took off toward the large group of women.

"Zenigata," Lupin turned to him and looked upward sternly, "I need you to call your superiors, backup, whoever. Just in case this serum gets spread out…"

"What? I'm not taking orders from you!"

"You got any better ideas?" Lupin inquired as he pointed to the still-burning hotel.

Zenigata gave a pause, "I'll do what I can—But don't go thinking that one of those paddy wagons won't be for you!"

"You got it!" Lupin waved as he exited and ran into the hotel, gun drawn. "Now I hope that tracker'll work… I got enough slaps in the face for it…" He said to himself as he began his search for Jigen. He pulled out his tracker, and was more than a little confused when it led him to the kitchen. He pulled open a meat freezer, and immediately tumbled down a darkened flight of stairs, eventually landing on his head when he stopped.

"Mister Lupin, how nice of you to join us…" Lupin looked upward, around the sterile lab, and then Vladimir who stood looking downward at Lupin. To his right with Emma and to his left was Alex. All three had guns pointed at him. In a far right-hand side of the lab stood Jigen, his gun also drawn.

"Heh, a meat locker to a lab… I'm guessing you were on one of those home redesign shows…" Lupin chuckled as he rose and dusted himself off. He jumped back as shots were fired, and he looked up at Vladimir in a glare.

"Ingenious to put the serum on Miss Marriott. I'm sure you think you're really a smart little bastard, neh?"

"Well, I like to think so."

"Lupin, he gave it to Alex, too!" Jigen shouted.

Vladimir turned to Jigen, looked him up and down and walked over to the gunman, "You know, I'm convinced that you're someone I know from my past… But there's the matter of the voice…"

Jigen pulled out the voice modifier and stomped on it, "There, jackass!" he called in his usual tone. "Happy?" Lupin watched as Emma's eyes briefly turned to Jigen, and then back to him. How he was to get out of this he had no clue.

"..Hm, and me without my Polaroid…" Vladimir chuckled. "Good thing I didn't choose you then, Daisuke. This serum won't affect those with a Y chromosome..."

"You bastard… Using freakin' girls to carry out your twisted crap?" Jigen shouted.

"I thought you hated women…"

"But they don't deserve this," snapped Jigen.

"Hm. So you'll fight for them?"

"I'll fight for Emma. I'll even fight for Marriott. And the thought of fighting you is all the better," Jigen drew his gun and shot at Vladimir. The Russian ducked out of the way, and Jigen was nearly struck by a bullet. It wasn't from Vladimir, though. He looked across the room, stunned, as he saw Emma standing in a military stance, her gun still smoking. She also looked to be crying a little.

"Vladimir, you're a coward if you're bringing your daughter into this…" Jigen grumbled, and then watched as Lupin kicked Alex's hands, throwing her gun up into the air. Both lunged for it, and looked to Emma as he pale hand reached out and caught it. She now had two guns pointed toward her former teacher.

"Heh, have fun destroying one another," Vladimir laughed. Lupin jumped in front of him and gave a more serious than usual look. Vladimir chuckled, "I know all about you, Lupin the Third… Death makes you shudder… The Reaper's your worst enemy…"

"I'm willing to set aside a few morals to save a few friends," replied Lupin with a dry gulp.

"Heh, go ahead and try it…" Vladimir said with another laugh, with turned into a gasp for air as a shot was fired. He coughed crimson blood, all which landed upon the Lupin. Lupin closed his eyes, trying to register if it had been him while holding down his disgust for the current situation.

He opened his eyes and looked toward Emma. She had one gun still pointed to Jigen, and one pointed to where her father's body now lay, slumped over on several steps.

Emma turned back to Jigen, and spoke uneasily, "He's got bombs… Run…"

"Not without you," Jigen said sternly. "How do you deactivate this stuff?"

Lupin began to look wildly through the lab, and it didn't help that Alex was still dead set on killing him. She worked the thief up onto a table, and he literally had to fend himself off with a chair.

"You know, a few hours ago this probably would've been reversed!" Lupin said as she lunged for his neck.

"Lupin, you find anything?" asked Jigen worried, "The damn fire's getting' out of control!" he shouted as he watched the flames begin to lick down the stairwell.

"Here!" Lupin said triumphantly as he pulled out two syringes. "Miss Marriott, please forgive me." And with this, Lupin tackled her and managed to inject her in the neck. Alex convulsed for a moment, then fell limp. Lupin scooped her up and tossed Jigen the other syringe, "I'm going to go fetch Goemon and Fujicakes—You gonna be okay, Jigen?"

"Yeah—You just go ahead!" Jigen nodded him off, and continued his standstill with Emma, "Just drop your guns, okay?"

"I can't," Emma said with a shake of the head.

"Then stay still," Jigen ordered, and shot, knocking on of her guns out of her hands. She fired in return, and Jigen grasped onto his shoulder and clenched his teeth in pain.

"I'm so sorry!"

"I know you are, don't worry, one more…" Jigen fired again, and the other gun flew out of her hand. She lunged for Jigen, and he immediately injected her with the antidote. She broke down into tears and leaned into Jigen. He embraced her and sighed.

"It's okay… You're free now…" Jigen muttered to her.

"No I'm not," Emma replied with a shake of the head. "The serum has a special connection with me…"

"What?" Jigen tilted his head to a side in confusion. Emma slowly seated herself on the ground, Jigen sitting down beside her.

"My father's been giving me doses of that serum for years… Alex has only started, so she'll be all right… It's going to reject that antidote you gave me and it'll stop my heart."

"What?" Jigen shrieked, "Then there's gotta be a— Why'd you let me--"

"I didn't want you to get hurt too, Jigen. You've always been like a father to me, and you were always there for me, even after you left," she leaned up and embraced him. "I love you so much. Don't feel guilty or anything—It's not your fault."

"I'm not gonna let you die on me," Jigen lifted her up, rose, and ran through the hotel and out to the gardens. The police had arrived by then, and they failed to recognize Jigen, so Zenigata, in a surprise act of kindness, led Jigen to a secluded area where Lupin sat on the ground, Alex laying down on the earth, covered by Lupin's red jacket. Fujiko and Goemon immediately flocked to Jigen as the gunman sat down with Emma leaning against him. The two then backed off as they realized the seriousness of the situation.

Emma smiled and placed a hand on Jigen's arm, "Remember that day you took me to the beach? It was beautiful. It was the first time I'd seen an ocean that wasn't covered in ice."

"Yup, I sure do," Jigen nodded and smiled a little. "You asked to marry me, for cryin' out loud!"

"Yeah… You know I might ask you again…"

"To get married…"

"Nah, to go to the beach… That was the best day, ever," she said tiredly, and closed her eyes. Jigen also closed is and felt her heart slow until it eventually stopped. He kissed her on the forehead and lifted her up, and walked to Zenigata.

"Do you know any funeral homes?" Jigen asked the stunned inspector. Fujiko gasped and put a hand to her mouth, and even the stoic Goemon looked downward and said a small prayer for the girl.

Zenigata nodded numbly, and led Jigen over to a police cruiser.

Two days later, the Lupin gang gathered on a beachfront, all members dressed accordingly for a funeral. Fujiko, Lupin, Jigen and Alex (who had footed the bill for the funeral) in place, and Goemon in white (this was the traditional color for funerals).

Jigen took a few steps forward and opened the urn, and watched as the ashes spread out across the ocean and the waves. He finally closed the light blue urn and looked outward at the ocean.

"I told you I'd take you to the beach again…" Jigen said to himself quietly. He turned back to the Lupin gang and nodded. "Well, took care of that…"

"And everyone who was connected to this has been caught," Lupin added, and put an arm over Jigen's shoulders as they began to walk back to the limo they had rented. They all climbed in and gave somber looks, and Jigen gave a small smirk.

"C'mon… I'll be okay, and trust me, guys, Emma's in a place where she's always wanted to be!" said Jigen. His voice lowered a little with the next statement, "Loss isn't anything new to me, anyway."

"Well, you guys are welcome to stay as long as you like. I really owe you guys one…"

"How about a kiss, then?" asked Lupin with a smile.

"Eck… Fine… You sure you don't have anything?"

"Only all the time in the world for a beautiful girl… Or girls," he added, looking over at Fujiko.

"Get over yourself," Fujiko said with a roll of the eyes.

"Here—Pay attention cause it's only gonna happen once," Alex leaned in and kissed him.

"All right!" Lupin laughed as Alex pulled away and wiped her mouth on her sleeve.

Jigen gave a small smile; he knew that Lupin meant no disrespect in reverting to his childish ways again so quickly. It was simply Lupin being Lupin. He preferred that things go back to normal in all honesty. He had had enough bizarre adventures to last him for the rest of his life.

They returned to the Marriott mansion, where they had been hiding out, and Goemon sought out Jigen immediately, finding the gunman in his designated guest room. Goemon cleared his throat and looked downward at Jigen, "I just wanted to let you know that anything that happened over the weekend… I'm sorry…"

"Eh, it's okay," Jigen shrugged, and looked at Goemon a little amusedly from beneath his fedora. "Just do me a favor and get laid before we do this next time so it's all out of your system."

"Yeah," Goemon nodded, and held out his hand. "We forget this forever?"

"You got it," Jigen replied and shook Goemon's hand on this. "You really should go get a girl, though, man. For what it's worth you're not a half bad kisser. You need to work on the dancing, though, I thought I was going to lose my friggin' toes!"

"All right," Goemon gave a small laugh at this and exited the room. Jigen sighed, sat up on his elbows, and then decided to go a little out of character and take a walk. He found Lupin doing his usual grab 'n grope to Fujiko in the living room, and Jigen calmly rolled up a newspaper, snuck up on Lupin from behind and smacked the thief roughly on the back of the head.

"Jigen! What the hell was that for?" Lupin shrieked as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Treat a lady with more friggin' respect and you might just score more!" Jigen snapped.

"Wha…?"

"Hm, my hero," Fujiko smiled reached up and kissed Jigen on the cheek. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you could take a lesson from him, Lupin."

"Say what?" Lupin yelped.

"You doing anything important right now, Jigen?" asked Fujiko.

"Eh, not especially…" the gunman replied.

"Let's get going, then," Fujiko took him by the arm and pulled him to the front door.

"Oh, you're kidding me…" Lupin muttered in dumbfounded shock.

"We'll be back in a little while, Lupin!" Fujiko called.

"Fujiko, c'mon! It's _Jigen_!" snapped Lupin.

"And he's got surprisingly good taste," Fujiko replied as she opened the door and then stepped out with the still a little worried gunman.

"Heh, maybe I should pull out my heels and dress again," Lupin said aloud with a small chuckle. He continued his laughter, and then walked up to go stalk Alex, who was somewhere in the confines of her home avoiding Lupin.

He stopped a moment, and shook his head, "Nah… I like the pervert gig better… I'll save Mr. Sensitive for someone else!"

The End


End file.
